Coming up for Air
Last week, on Make it a Great Monday, I wrote about the trials, tribulations, and occasional absurdities of starting over in America after five years in England. The nugget was called Starting Over Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Starting from Scratch. It felt good to rediscover some creative energy after a foggy period of life in transition. We are finally starting to come up for air. We had fun yesterday deciding where to hang artwork. Those types of projects feel rewarding and joyful, compared to packing and unpacking boxes!
On Stay Whole Tuesday, I shared a story about a tiny golf ball marker and a much bigger question about identity. My Richmond Golf Club buddy, Christopher Davis, reminded me that a job title is a rather lazy way of explaining who someone is. Then he asked a question I haven’t stopped thinking about:
“Why should we be reduced to that?”
Both pieces prompted additional responses from friends, former colleagues, and family. When you fancy yourself a writer, you never really know who’s reading, who’s paying attention, or whether your words are making much difference. So, getting these little nuggets back from people makes my day!
Routine and Readiness
From my Rudy’s 360 Friday morning men’s group in Austin, David Steinwedell offered this:
It can be a gut punch when life messes up your plans. I think the best remedy is to continue to show up, go to the gym, do the little things (like buy your partner flowers) while keeping your eyes open for the opportunity that you would likely have missed under your old plan. Routine and readiness.
There’s something wonderfully practical about that combination. Keep doing the things that ground you, even when the bigger picture is uncertain. But don’t become so attached to your old plans that you miss the opportunities unfolding right in front of you.
Where am I Needed?
Then came a note from Annie Kenny, a friend from BARCH, our gym in Richmond, UK. Annie told me she was lying awake thinking about relevance and, indeed, irrelevance,
which modern life seems so full of at times.
I know what Annie means. We live in a world increasingly obsessed with being noticed, sometimes the louder and more obnoxious the better. Yet so many people quietly wonder whether what they do, or even who they are, really matter. And when life changes our plans, that question can become rather personal. A career ends. Children grow up. We move away from familiar places and people. The routines and relationships that once helped define us begin to change. Somewhere underneath the practical question of What now? sits a much more personal one, Where am I needed?
Remember Who You Are
And then an interesting angle from Sarah Tucker, another Richmond friend from BARCH, who has helped me with my book project. Sarah has been taking an acting course, which prompted an observation I hadn’t considered:
Being someone else is pretending but ultimately, you can forget who you are when you are taking on other identities all the time. The most important thing is to know who you are and be grateful for it. Sarah suggested that this is what my book, RELEVANCE, is really about.
David reminds us to keep showing up. Annie reminds us that relevance isn’t always easy to recognize. And Sarah reminds us that before we can figure out where we’re going, we ought to remember who we are. Three friends. Three different perspectives.
And speaking of doing the little things, I think I’ll buy Cathy some flowers this week. She’s done an extraordinary amount to help us settle into our new life in Atlanta, and a little appreciation is long overdue. I suspect David’s wife, Patty, would approve, as she is another force of nature, like my bride. (-;
Make it a Great Monday.
