Why do men have a hard time sharing their feelings?
Yesterday, Cathy and I went to a memorial service for Dan Bates. He passed away on May 2, 2020, at the age of 61. Over time, grief softens a little. We begin to celebrate life more than mourn it. Still, we all miss Dan deeply.
The service took place at Westlake Hills Presbyterian Church. It was called “Service to the Resurrection and Thanksgiving for the Witness of the Life of Daniel Joseph Bates, Sr.”
The church filled with family and friends—young and old. Dan’s brother LJ (Little John), Tim Timmerman, and Dan’s children, Daniel and Francis, spoke about his life. Each one did a beautiful job. I smiled as they described things I already knew—his love for baseball, his work ethic, his sharp wit, and his deep care for others. We had spent many hours golfing together, and I saw all those qualities firsthand.
I also heard things I never knew about Dan
- Dan was a writer.
- He wrote heartfelt letters to his family called “Dear Kathy” and funny recaps of his son’s baseball games titled “Otherside of the Universe.”
- He also taught Sunday School for years and lived with strong faith. I don’t think we ever talked about that.
Men and their feelings
It makes me wonder—why do men have a hard time sharing their feelings? Golf, hunting, or fishing can bring us together. We spend hours side by side. But still, we hold so much back.
Rest in peace, Dan Bates. One day, we’ll have time to catch up—and really talk.
“Millions of people were charmed by the homespun golf advice dispensed in Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book, a sports classic that became the best-selling sports book of all time. Yet, beyond the Texas golf courses where Penick happily toiled for the better part of eight decades, few people knew the self-made golf pro who coaxed the best out of countless greats — Tom Kite, Ben Crenshaw, Betsy Rawls, Mickey Wright — all champions who considered Penick their coach and lifelong friend.” – Kevin Robbins, author of Harvey Penick: The Life and Wisdom of the Man Who Wrote the Book on Golf.
